The Uncanny Valley
by Ninnik Nishukan
Summary: A younger Dr. Drakken and his recently hired assistant Shego...and the Bebe robots. Drakken and Shego before the KP series started.
1. September

**The Uncanny Valley**  
By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** _The Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

* * *

**September**

* * *

"…and just how long have you been working on these robot girls of yours, anyway?"

"A long time," came the muttered reply.

"Why a robot _girl_? Why not a robot _guy_?"

Finally he looked up, blinking in perplexity at his assistant, who was looking slightly bored as she leaned on his worktop, examining her nails. "I fail to see where it would matter, Miss Shego. They aren't actually 'girls' or 'guys' either way since they're not actually human."He pointed out. "The differences are merely in the cosmetic details. There would be no change in physical strength, for example."

She flashed a crooked smirk. "And here I thought you were gonna say it makes them more user friendly."

He gave her a long, withering look. "I suppose that was intended to be _funny_, was it?"

"I try," she replied with a grin and a shrug.

Groaning almost inaudibly, he pointed the screwdriver he was holding in the general direction of the door. "Anyway, you've given me the new parts I needed for them now. You could just…you're excused. You don't have to hang around."

For some reason, she was looking mildly offended now. "I'm _excused_? Well, thank you_ very_ much."

He frowned at her. "Look, I don't know what you want. You've done your job, and now I have work to do. Stop bothering me and…go home or something."

She stared at him in disbelief for a few seconds before she turned on her heel and left. "Jerk," He heard her mutter just before the door slammed shut.

He shot a puzzled glance at the door before returning to work.

It was only later that evening that it occurred to him that she'd only wanted to chat. And then he had to wonder if she did in fact know anybody in Middleton yet or not. He frowned over the matter as he ate his dinner. A green-skinned super hero turned villain couldn't be very popular or sociable, now could she? And she did always seem to hang around after she'd dropped off whatever she'd stolen for him that evening, like she didn't have anything better to do.

Like she had no one to meet later. Like she didn't particularly feel like going home.

Dr. Drakken pondered the matter further as he brushed his teeth that night, and finally had an idea.

He saw potential.

The girl seemed competent, her fighting skills superb, her super powers fascinating— and definitely a subject for further studies— and she had a good head on her shoulders and both her feet planted firmly on the ground. She wasn't a dreamer like him, but that was okay, because he was the evil genius around here, and he didn't need another one; he needed exactly the opposite, in fact. And he needed a more highly skilled henchperson…

No, not a henchperson.

Something else.

Something better.

And since she didn't seem to have any ties to anything else and was free to put in the full time and effort it required, she was the perfect candidate for the job.

* * *

She'd been working for him now for the better part of a year, but so far he hadn't really called on her all that often. All he seemed to need her for was stealing stuff for him to make his creepy robots with and things like that. She'd imagined that working with a super villain would be more exciting than that, and she was getting bored and restless. Just as she started contemplating resigning and looking for a different employer, however, there was a change.

At some point, he suddenly started referring to her as his 'sidekick', for reasons unknown. That was right after he began calling on her more often. Happy to finally have more things to do, she didn't comment on the sidekick thing, simply countering by taking up calling him 'Blue'. 'Doctor Drakken' was such a mouthful, anyway, and far more formal that she was going to bother being.

All of a sudden he started to keep her around several days a week, making her his lab assistant and prompting her to start training his sadly rather incompetent henchmen—and the biggest change of all was that where he'd been preoccupied and dismissive before, he now suddenly started talking to her. And talking and talking and talking…

One Thursday, there was nothing for her to do when she came over to the lair, and it slowly dawned on her that he'd called her over simply to have someone to rant to.

It made her feel indignant that he would have no qualms with wasting her time like that, but at the same time it was pretty okay to be paid to sit on her butt reading magazines and drinking coffee, only occasionally having to get up to fetch him some techno-something-or-other that he could've easily fetched for himself from the table across the floor.

It reminded her of her early teens, when she'd gotten paid to babysit kids who'd already gone to bed so she was free to scarf down the family's snacks and watch their video collection. It was a sweet deal, really, and besides, she didn't mind an opportunity to get to know more about her employer. Even she had to admit she was curious. It was the first time she'd ever worked with a villain, and it was kind of interesting in a this-guy-is-seriously-eccentric kind of way.

Besides, she didn't really know anyone in the city despite having lived there for several months, so she appreciated the company, even if the company was a blue-skinned, self-proclaimed genius mad scientist type who seemed to be completely bipolar, going from giddy to sinister every five seconds.

At least it kept things interesting. The guy was a one man show.

One moment he'd be offering her donuts to go with her coffee, and the next moment he'd be telling her in detail how he was planning to take over the world.

Nope, definitely not boring. Now if he'd only keep his ranting to a minimum and accept her inputs of common sense into his streams of evil inspiration, she was sure they could get along…

Looking up from her magazine, Shego suddenly noticed that Dr. Drakken had wandered off somewhere. Her eyes flashed to the doorway to the kitchen and back to his worktop before she got to her feet abruptly, tossing her magazine on the table. She'd been curious about the double doors at the back of the lab all day. She knew he kept his robot there, and she figured that since she was the one who'd been stealing parts for it the last few months, she deserved to see it. She could get in at least a glance before he came back. It wasn't as if he'd forbid her to see it or anything, but he hadn't offered to show it to her, either, so from that she assumed he might not want her to see it— so of course she had to.

Hurrying across the floor, she pulled the doors open—

She froze.

It was standing right inside the door. And it looked nothing like what she'd imagined. It was stream-lined, sleek and well-proportioned— not at all like the clanky box on legs that she'd thought it might be. She blinked a bit as she slowly took in the odd design of it; it reminded her of a lot of the girls in early James Bond movies. She'd known it was a robot girl, but jeez— he'd given it hair.

Hair and a face and clothing and arms and legs and hands that could reach out for you just like a person—

She shuddered as she took a step back and paused by the door, watching its faintly glowing, slanted eyes on its gleaming metal face in the dark, and listened to the quiet hum of dormant energy coming from it, a discomfiting feeling creeping up on her as the outline of the robot looked far too much like a human being…

"What is it, Sidekick? Don't like my robot?"

She nearly leapt out of her skin, but managed to stay calm. She'd been so preoccupied she hadn't even heard his approach. He didn't seem to be upset that she'd snuck a peek while he was gone, so she decided to just ignore it as well. He didn't look like he expected an apology. "Seriously, it is a little…creepy." She admitted.

His soft chuckle reverberated off of the walls of the cavernous room. "The Uncanny Valley, huh?"

She glanced up at him, perplexed. "The what-now?"

Drakken shrugged as he calmly took a bite out of the grilled cheese sandwich he'd been making. "The Uncanny Valley, Miss Shego. It's a theory in robotics that was introduced by Japanese roboticist Masahiro Mori in 1970—"

Shego rolled her eyes. "Skip the history lesson and give me the important details, Blue."

Drakken shot her an annoyed glance before clearing his throat. "Mori's hypothesis states that as a robot is made more humanlike in its appearance and motion, the emotional response from a human being to the robot will become increasingly positive and empathic, until a point is reached beyond which the response quickly becomes that of strong repulsion." Drakken went on, sounding like he was remembering something he'd read somewhere. "However, as the appearance and motion continue to become less distinguishable from a human being, the emotional response becomes positive once more and approaches human-to-human empathy levels."

"Uh huh." She nodded slowly. "And this name you said? The Uncanny Valley?"

"Well, that area of repulsive response aroused by a robot with appearance and motion between a "barely-human" and "fully human" entity is called the Uncanny Valley."

"Right."Shego said vaguely as she glanced at the robot.

"So it's all to do with how comfortable or uncomfortable people are when seeing non-human beings look or act a lot like humans."Drakken said, taking another bite out of the grilled cheese. "There's a definite pain limit there."

"You're tellin' _me_…"Shego muttered as she took another step away from the robot. She didn't know what the robot was capable of yet, but in terms of appearance, it had definitely passed into The Uncanny Valley as far as she was concerned. It might be made of metal, but its shape was far too human.

"So that's why Bebe is freaking you out," Drakken concluded cheerfully, waving the grilled cheese sandwich at his creation.

Shego spun around, gaping at him. "You gave the thing a _name_? And you named it _Bebe_?"

"Uhm…"

* * *

**_TBC._**

**Author's note: **Just a story I decided to write to possibly explain why Shego was absent during _Attack of the Killer Bebes_. That, and I just wanted to explore what their partnership was like the first year they were working together, especially before they ever encountered Kim Possible.

I lifted most of Drakken's explanation of _The Uncanny Valley_ from the wiki article about it.

* * *


	2. October

**The Uncanny Valley**  
By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:**_The Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

* * *

**October**

* * *

"Siiiidekiiiick!!" Drakken bellowed.

Nothing happened.

"Siiiidekiiiiick!"

Nothing.

"SIDEKICK!" He snapped.

Finally, Shego came sauntering into the room, leaning on the door frame. "Yes, Master, you called?" She said, her sarcasm as dry as the desert.

He frowned at her; she had a tendency to be rather impertinent for an employee. These last couple of weeks, he'd wondered many a time whether he'd made the right decision in even considering to make her his sidekick or not. She did make up for her impertinence in other ways, however; just the night before, for example, he'd dropped his screwdriver under the fridge, and she'd moved the fridge for him, almost as easily as if it was an empty cardboard box.

"No need for that tone. Why didn't you come when I called you?"

She gave him a look of mock confusion. "Why I didn't come?"

Drakken nodded. "Yes, what were you doing?"

"Hmmm, could it be that I didn't come because…oh, I dunno…my name isn't _'sidekick'_?"

He blinked at her. "Well, no…but you _are _sort of the sidekick."

Her eyebrow arched, challenging his bold statement. "Oh, yes? I'm a mercenary, Blue. I'm staying for the money, and if you don't treat me any better, I'll quit."

"Who'd want to hire someone as new to the game as you?"He retorted skeptically.

She smirked, shaking her head. "_You_ did, didn't you?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Well, you do have your talents…"

She looked a bit smug, then. "Yeah, see? Who else around here has comet powers? Or my cat burgling ninja skills? Things like that are hard to come by, Blue."

"Not many villains would care to hire an ex-hero, though." He commented, .

She froze, staring at him. "How did you know that?"

"You thought I'd hire someone for a job like this without checking their background first, did you?" His brow rose; she really hadn't expected that, had she? Odd— he was a villain, after all. Apparently, she was still a bit wet behind the ears…either that, or she'd simply thought he wouldn't be able to dig up the information.

She gawked at him. "You snooped in my private affairs?"

"Hardly private. I found it all on the internet. "He shrugged. "Well, I did have to do some hacking, but still…"

Her eyebrows drew dangerously close, her jaw tightening with anger. "Blue, if you think you can threaten me with exposure—"

"Oh, I don't think there's any need to go that far." He said pleasantly, smirking at her.

Shego simmered. "You are just—"

"Evil? Well, duh."

Her shoulders slumped. "Why did you hire me, then, if I'm an ex-hero?"

Drakken made a non-committal kind of grunt; people who were willing to become a villain's assistant were hard to come by, and out of the rather hopeless cases he'd interviewed, she was the only one who'd stood out as someone who actually had a bit of potential and talent. But she didn't need to know that—it would only make her even cockier, make her think she could take all _sorts_ of liberties—

"You're useful to me." He said. "Besides, it's not as if I was _born_ evil, either. We all have embarrassing pasts."

Her stern expression relaxed just a little at his admission. "Fine."

"And if you don't like to be called _Sidekick_, maybe you could stop calling me _Blue_." He prompted.

"Too late, Blue," she said, grinning. "Now, what was it you wanted, anyway? Must've been really important, the way you were yelling."

"I wanted to show you my new robot." He told her, that mad scientist glint she'd become familiar with lately turning up in his eyes.

"Ugh, you made _another _one?"

He blinked at her, perplexed. "But, but you _know_ I did. I mean, you must know, you got me the parts—"

Shego made a face. "I know, I know, I just…ugh."

"Well, if you're going to be like _that_, then I'm not going to—"

"Oh, come on and show me your stupid robot. Now that I'm here, anyway…"

* * *

Shego stared at the new robot, a more or less exact copy of the old one. They robots were standing next to each other, shoulder to shoulder, and she had to admit that the robot looked even more menacing in stereo.

"Ugh."

Drakken glanced down at her expectantly. "Still don't like them?"

"Doy. Twice as much of a bad thing and all…" She grimaced. "They remind me of those twins from _The Shining_."

He shrugged. "Never saw it."

"Figured. " She rolled her eyes briefly. "And it doesn't exactly help that the lighting fixtures are broken…" She said dryly, gesturing at the ceiling, where the bluish light flickered and sputtered eerily, creating an unsettling atmosphere in the large, open room.

Shego paused suddenly; wait, why hadn't he just fixed it? If he could build artificial intelligence, surely he would be able to— her eyes narrowed; no wonder he was in such a good mood despite her criticism!

"You broke them on purpose, didn't you?" She asked in a flat tone, clearly not amused, her hand on her hip. "So everything would look all spooky. Didn't you?"

His eyes widened briefly in surprise before he grinned sheepishly; this one was rather quick on the uptake, nothing like his dopey henchmen. "I do what I can, Sidekick. Always learning new ways to intimidate my opponents."

"Yeah, well, just don't test them out on me." She grunted softly with annoyance. "You've seen too many B-movies, Blue."

He cleared his throat loudly. "The thing is that I'm having some problems with Asimov's Laws." He began, ignoring her last remark.

Shego glanced at him. "Asimov's Laws? As in Isaac Asimov, that sci-fi author? What are these laws?"

His eyes became slightly unfocused when he spoke, as if he was reciting something off of the blackboard of his mind.

"Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics are…" He began. "One, a robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. Two, a robot must obey orders given to it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. And three, a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law."

"You know it all by _heart_?" Shego raised an eyebrow. "You were a big sci-fi geek back in high school, weren't you?"

Drakken gritted his teeth; that had hit just a little too close to home. "I'm not paying you to be a comedian, you know." He commented, taking care to sound suitably reproachful.

"So, what was the problem?" She went on smoothly, ignoring his reprimand. It wasn't as if she would be able to give him much input on the matter, so it was obvious he only wanted her there to listen,but at least she would understand the subject much better than his henchmen, even if she wasn't an expert in robotics.

"The problem, like I said, is Asimov's Laws." Drakken sighed. "If I feed Asimov's Law into their command system, they won't be much good for fighting, will they? Because then they won't be able to hurt humans and they won't be able to defend themselves against humans." He gestured towards the robots, shaking his head. "So I have to modify it a little, have them only refrain from hurting certain people, like me and you, for example. So far I've only put my own voice into their memory. I'll put in some more later, like you and my henchmen, so they'll recognize us."

"What about sight?" She wondered. "Can't they recognize us by looking at us?"

Drakken shook his head. "Their eyesight is…too inaccurate so far. Anyone of our height and build etcetera could disguise themselves as us and trick the robots. It's better to go with voice recognition."

"So, do you have any way of controlling these freak shows?"

He glared at her. "I've worked very hard on these robots, Sidekick, and I would like it if you would refrain from—"

Shego rolled her eyes. "All right, all right— so, do you?"

"There's the manual override sequence on the control panel on their backs. I'd advice you to learn the code once the Bebes become fully operational. And I have a remote control." He added, pulling it out of the pocket of his lab coat and brandishing it.

Shego immediately snatched it out of his hand. "Huh, handy," she commented, turning it around in her hand. "Do I also get one of these?"

"Give that back!" Drakken growled as he flailed for the remote, which she playfully kept just out of his reach. "Give it back or I won't make one for you!" He threatened, going slightly red in the face.

Shego smirked; he was obviously not used to being very physical or joking around like this at all, since he got so upset up after only a few seconds. Typical nerd. With as many brothers as she had, things like this had happened to her all the time, even in her adult years; although she was mostly the one doing it to them. If she ever missed her brothers, it was mainly because she hadn't really made any friends here yet. She didn't really need anybody, but some occasional company would be nice...some company besides her boss, even though he did tend to be entertaining...

Chuckling as she shook her head, she dropped the remote into his hand. "You're a real sport, Blue."

Drakken's lips tightened with offence as he clutched the remote. "I think it's time to say _good night_, Shego."

So now he wanted her to leave just because of that? She could particularly tell he was being serious by the fact that he'd actually used her real name that time. Shego sighed inwardly; he was always so easily offended. She opened her mouth, about to reply—

¨¨DR. DRAKKEN.¨¨

Shego froze at the sound of the robotic voice, a shiver going down her spine. Turning her head, she saw one of the robots' eyes all of a sudden glowing distinctly red under the sputtering neon lights.

"Yes, what is it, Bebe-1?" Drakken asked calmly, smirking briefly at the rattled Miss Shego. Served her right.

¨¨GOOD NIGHT.¨¨

Shego swallowed, an urge to ignite her fists with plasma creeping up on her as she saw the thing's parody of a mouth open and shut as it spoke. It reminded her vaguely of one of those old ventriloquist dummies…

"Good night, Bebe-1," Drakken answered, turning the Bebe off with his remote, the glowing eyes dying slowly. "See?" Drakken said, looking pleased as he turned to his sidekick, not even noticing her blatant lack of enthusiasm. "Voice recognition. There's still a few kinks I need to work out, though."

Shego grimaced. She'd never heard it speak before. She didn't even know it _could_ speak.

As she hurried after Drakken out of the room, Shego had to struggle to keep from shuddering.

* * *

_**TBC.**_

**Author's note:** Thanks to Zoza, who did the beta for me once again. Happy Halloween, my galleon.

* * *


	3. November

**The Uncanny Valley**  
By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** _The Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

* * *

**November**

* * *

The next time Drakken asked her to come to the lair, he sent her a text message instead of calling, which was unusual. He always liked to gloat to her about what they would be doing that day before she came over.

As soon as she walked into the lab and saw him, she knew that there was something wrong.

He was up and about and wearing his usual white lab coat, but he also wore a thick woolen scarf around his neck, his hair was messy and his nose and the area around his eyes were somewhat red.

Furthermore, he still hadn't greeted her with his usual excited bellow of 'It's a great day for evil, Sidekick!' or something equally silly.

She cocked her hip, tilting her head at him. "So why did you even call me in today if you're sick?"

To her mild surprise, instead of answering her he fished a pen and a small note pad out of his coat pocket, scribbling something on it before showing it to her.

Now curious, Shego stepped closer so she could read what he'd written.

_**Because we have work to do! **_It said, and she could practically hear how his voice would've sounded if the words had been spoken and not written. Squinting at him, she suddenly noticed that his throat looked distinctly swollen.

"Oh, so you can't _speak_, huh?" She grinned. "Well, _this_ is gonna be fun. An entire day without any ranting or yelling."

He quickly scribbled something on the pad before showing it to her. _**ZIP IT, SIDEKICK! **_it said, and she had to laugh as he scowled impotently at her.

"Oh, that's cute." She smirked. "You look like crap, you know."

He ripped a couple of pages from the note pad until he came to a fresh one, letting the old ones drop to the floor as he began writing._** I don't even have a fever! **_

She sighed. "Now what's the deal, Blue? Why am I here?"

He scribbled furiously while she waited. _**Go get more parts for robots. Building a third one. List on fridge door.**_

She gave him that skeptical look he'd become quite familiar with ever since he'd made her his sidekick. "Honestly…shouldn't you be in bed?"

He shook his head, sending her a grumpy, defiant glance. _**Also get me canned soup, Vic's Vapor Rub, Kleenex, nasal spray + cough drops.**_

"What is this, your Grandma's shopping list?"She sighed in exasperation. So now she was stuck playing nursemaid for some guy who was too stubborn to even admit he was sick?

His grumpy look intensified, his severe, dark eyebrow lowering, and she relented. "Okay, jeez. Gimme the stupid list."

He smiled in satisfaction at her then, pushing a small wad of money into her hand along with the list of groceries. _**Steal robot parts, pay for groceries, keep the change,**_ he wrote.

"Fine," she said, already starting to plan buying herself some magazines and some take-out with the change. There was no way she was eating any canned soup, anyway.

Just as she was about to snatch the list of instructions he'd pinned up on the fridge door, he came up behind her, tugging at her sleeve. When she turned around, he was pushing another note at her. _**By the way, remind me that we have to start adding your voice to the Bebes' voice recognition program when you get back.**_

"Right." Shego groaned; that obviously meant overtime. But okay, if it would keep those robots from attacking her, she supposed it was worth it. So was the overtime pay.

As she left to go to the grocery store, she heard the unmistakable sound of a vacuum cleaner starting up in the living room, and looked curiously to the left— usually, the cleaning crew was only here on Wednesdays—

She halted, staring.

In the other room, one of the Bebe robots was busily wiping off the coffee table while vacuuming the floor at the same time. She felt a chill go down her spine when the robot lifted the heavy table as if it was nothing but a thin China tea cup. She'd never seen any of the robots move before. Not other than their mouths, that one time…

Willing her feet back into motion, she gripped the shopping list and hurried out the front door.

* * *

What with his inability to rant anymore, Drakken found himself studying his assistant quietly as he ate. She'd gotten him chicken noodle soup, and he was eating it slowly but enthusiastically. He hadn't been able to eat much these past few days, and he was ravenous, even if he had some difficulty swallowing.

Drakken tilted his head and looked at her profile. Her features were partially obscured by her long bangs. He peered at her as he took a spoonful of chicken and noodles. Her haircut seemed a bit young for her, he decided; all lopsided and layered and spiky at the ends, like he'd seen some of the younger women wear it. It was practical, sure, and he was all for practical, but it looked a little tomboyish, and he couldn't help thinking she'd look better with longer hair.

In fact, he himself was thinking of growing his hair out. He would've done it long ago if it was for the fact that he didn't want to look like he was copying his cousin Eddie— and he didn't want to listen to his mother complaining when she saw that 'her only son' had a 'hippie haircut'.

Miss Shego had gotten herself some Chinese take-out and was eating it straight out of the carton. That was one of the things he'd learned about her since starting their partnership; even though she had complete access to his kitchen, she bought prepackaged dinners or take-out. The woman obviously wasn't much of a cook.

That didn't matter, though. That wasn't why he'd hired her, anyway. He'd hired her for her skills with various fighting styles, burglary, theft, infiltration, her super powers and her ability to drive basically any vehicle, including cars, boats, trucks, his hover craft— he was sure he could teach her how to pilot a rocket as well.

Of course, he'd also hired her because the super villain business tended to get a bit tedious and monotonous, especially in the planning and preparation stages of things, and because he needed an audience for his rants, basically. So far, things were going well, but he could tell that she was already getting a bit impatient with him. She wasn't going to do everything he said without question, that was for sure.

He still hadn't decided if that was a good or a bad thing yet.

Setting his spoon down, Drakken picked up his notepad and pen and scribbled something. Nudging his assistant's leg carefully with his foot, he held up the notepad for her to see. _**Tell me about yourself**_, it said.

"I don't think so." She said bluntly, shaking her head.

Drakken frowned before nudging her leg with his foot once more.

She looked up again, sending a flat, discouraging glance his way. "No."

Drakken scribbled quickly on the notepad._** Why not? **_

"None of your business."

_**Did you see Bebe-1 vacuuming earlier?**_ He wrote, trying to prompt her into talking. _**I'm testing her abilities outside of battle. Pretty impressive, huh?**_

His sidekick's uninterested, yet almost contemptuous look told him that talking about the Bebes clearly wasn't the route to take.

He thought a little bit before he wrote something again. _**I'm bored.**_

"Not my problem."

_**PLEASE?**_

"Oh, for the love of—"Shego sent him a mildly disgusted look. "Anyone ever told you that you have the most digging puppy dog pout ever?"

He grinned, then, sitting back in his chair as he made a gesture for her to start talking.

"Okay...I'm twenty-three, I love pizza and, like _ohmigod_, I think that kittens are _so_ totally cute." She droned sarcastically. "There, happy now?"

_**Very funny. **_

She sighed. "Look, I'm really not into telling people about myself."

_**So tell me a story instead.**_

"Once upon a time," she began with acid-sweet tones, and he made a sound that was supposed to be a frustrated grunt but ended up sounding like an old engine that had backfired. She glanced up at him as he coughed, and sighed again. The poor guy was really very sick. Maybe if she told him a story, he'd fall asleep and she could dump him on the couch and take the rest of the day off...

"Okay, I'll tell you the one about the time this villainess named Electronique tried to take over Go City..."

* * *

Finally, the guy fell asleep as she talked on and on and on. It was soothing in a way, to hear her own voice relaying the tale of Electronique now that she was far away from the super hero business, and it was certainly soothing to be able to talk freely while Mr. Ranty Pants listened attentively. She'd almost managed to get all the way up to the part where Electronique got carted off to jail when the doctor's head lolled gently to the side and a soft snort escaped him. He was finally asleep.

She left him there on the couch and went back to her chair in front of the monitor to read her magazine. She supposed she could stick around for five more minutes while she drank her tea, just in case something happened. She'd been right to cover Blue with a blanket before she left him to his nap, and not just because he was sick. Shego peered up into the high ceiling; it really was kind of empty and cold here, wasn't it?

Nobody should live alone here. Nobody needed this much space, did they?

And nobody should be sick and alone here, either...

Sighing, Shego leaned back in her chair. She'd finish her and tea and her magazine, then she was out of there.

Five minutes later, she was distracted by the dull hum of the vacuum cleaner, and looked up sharply only to see the Bebe bustling about, cleaning up again.

Shego gave a small sound of repulsion; it looked like there were still a few glitches that the Doc needed to work out with his robots. Apparently it didn't remember that it had cleaned this very same room earlier that day. The way it moved, though...it was much smoother, faster and more efficient than she'd expected.

"Hey, you! Uh...Bebe!"She called out. "You've already cleaned this room. Go clean somewhere else!"

Shego almost bit her own tongue when the robot's head swiveled around on its shoulders, its red eyes focusing on her, while its body remained turned in the other direction.

"Never mind..."Shego mumbled, backing away and sitting down again. This seemed to appease the robot, which simply resumed its cleaning. Shego didn't know if the robot ignored her because it actually recognized her somehow despite what Dr. Drakken had said about voice recognition or if it was ignoring her because it simply didn't see her as a threat, but neither option was particularly reassuring.

Burying her nose in the magazine, she took a sip of her tea while keeping half an eye on the robot.

Five minutes went by, and she almost, _almost_ got used to the robot's eerie presence as she read a rather good article on nail care and contemplated buying some new nail polish. Maybe black this time...

She nearly gasped when the robot bumped into her chair with the vacuum cleaner. Glancing at it, she grunted in annoyance, but let it slide. It was just a stupid robot.

It did it again.

Shego growled as it almost made her spill her tea this time.

Suddenly, it actually leaned over and lifted her legs up to vacuum under them. Shego gasped in outrage as it clutched her legs.

"Oh, get off!" She said irritably, pushing at the robot's shoulder; she must've used more strength than she thought she'd had, though, because it staggered drunkenly as it almost toppled over the vacuum cleaner. "Oops, sorry," she mumbled, immediately wondering why she was even doing such a thing as apologizing to a robot.

Abruptly, the robot swung around, grabbing her shoulder in a vice-like grip. "Hey!" She objected, "What do you think you're doing, you obnoxious garbage can?"

The robot said nothing as it picked her up and threw her across the room. Shego's eyes shot open as she hit the floor and the air was knocked out of her.

Then the robot spoke, in a cold, flat tone. ¨¨MINOR THREAT REMOVED.¨¨

Scrambling to her feet, Shego glared at the robot. "That's it!"She yelled, coughing just a bit. "You're going down!"

With a snarl, she sent a large plasma blast towards the robot.

To her shock, it dodged the blast with frightening ease.

¨¨SUBJECT NOW EVALUATED AS A SIGNIFICANT THREAT.¨¨The robot droned calmly. ¨¨FURTHER DEFENSE MECHANISMS ACTIVATED.¨¨

"Oh, crap…"Shego muttered as the Bebe sped towards her on metal legs. She'd attacked it, and it was defending itself, because Drakken hadn't added Shego to the voice recognition system yet, the Bebe would not respond to her commands to cease its attack. They had been supposed to fix that tonight, but she'd forgotten to remind him about it like he'd told her to. Instead, she'd let Drakken fall asleep instead so she'd get the rest of the day off. Now, the robot was only following its third directive and was defending itself…unfortunately for her…

Right before the robot reached her, she saw the other one appear behind it, in the doorway.

* * *

At the other side of the huge room, a cough rattled in Drakken's throat as he blinked against the light, waking up. Something had disturbed him from sleep, but he didn't quite know what.

Rubbing his forehead, he sat up.

Oh, he felt really, _really_— he groaned hoarsely as he realized that he must've finally acquired that fever that he'd told Miss Shego earlier that he didn't have. He was suddenly feeling far too warm, and quite dizzy besides—

His head snapped around as he heard a loud crash coming from the other side of the room. That did _not _sound good.

When he attempted getting to his feet, he found himself tangled up in a blanket; he rid himself of the offending object and took a few steps forward.

He almost went into a coughing fit when he caught the terrible sight in front of him.

Bebe-1 was holding Shego above itself by her neck, slowly choking her. His assistant's eyes were wild and frightened as she kicked and wheezed, trying to pry the robot's hand off of her throat and clawing at its face with her other hand. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement, and glanced around; near the far wall, a headless Bebe-2 was staggering around, searching for her head with her remaining arm. It looked like Shego had put up quite a fight. If there had only been one robot, she might've made it…

Drakken could see that Bebe-1 was covered all over in burn marks from where Shego had probably tried to melt it with her plasma powers; here and there, it_ had_ melted, too, but not enough to slow it down completely. Drakken had built them so external damage wouldn't faze them much. What they were made of didn't melt very easily, and at this point, Shego looked like she was too busy struggling to simply stay alive to do much more damage to the robot.

He opened his mouth to yell a command to shut down the robot— his whole body was racked with chills as his voice only came out as a tiny, wheezing cough. His voice was ruined! The Bebe would never recognize him now!

He took a few indecisive steps forward, his heart beating wildly as he patted his lab coat pocket and found it empty; no remote control! Where had he last left it? He couldn't remember, couldn't remember—

The manual override sequence, he thought in a panic, what the hell was the damn manual override sequence again? Four-eight-seven-one…three-five…and then…? No, it was four-seven-eight-three-one-five…and then what? No, that wasn't right, either! He hadn't just equipped the Bebes with something as silly as an easily accessible 'Off' button, because that would've made it a piece of cake for anyone moderately clever and skilled to stop them, but now he could regret it, oh, how he could _regret_ it—

The notes with the manual override sequence were in the kitchen, he remembered suddenly, where he'd absentmindedly shoved them halfway under the small bowl of fruit that his sidekick had brought in the other week for herself, but that didn't help him at all, because he would never be able to reach the kitchen, come back here and punch in the sequence before— before—

Colour drained from his own face as he watched Shego's face turn a bizarre, deeper green as the Bebe slowly but surely choked her to death— Drakken was sure that if his assistant hadn't been so tough, hadn't had super powers, it would all be over by now already—

Spinning around, he caught sight of Bebe-2 still fumbling around for its missing body parts, closing in on them— it would only be a matter of time before it found its head and arm, and then it would attack again— and dashed forward, snatching up the robot's discarded arm before it could get to it and pivoting on his heel, bearing down on Shego and Bebe-1. The only thing he could be sure would make a good enough weapon against his robots was a piece of their own, strong, compact, steely metal bodies…

He rushed at it from behind, a desperate man clubbing his own creation over its robotic head with one of its own sibling's arms, panic and fear giving him enough adrenaline-induced, brute strength to beat it to the floor when it let go of Shego, feeling a strange kind of detachment as he watched bolts and tiny chipped-off pieces of armor flying everywhere, one of the creature's narrow, metallic eyes zipping past his own ear as it was parted from the android's body.

He knew that if the Bebe hadn't been distracted by Shego, and hadn't already been weakened a little from the damages that Shego had managed to inflict upon it, he would've been a splotch mark on his own lab floor instead. It was sheer luck, really, he thought as he smashed the Bebe to pieces, a strange sound echoing across the cavernous laboratory; it was only as he swung at the Bebe one last time, his breath ragged, that he realized it had been the sound of his own voice raised in a hoarse, strangled, broken howl.

When it was over, when it finally stopped moving, and as he stood there panting, he was pretty certain he'd been beating the android for at least a couple of moments longer than what had been strictly necessary. He looked down at his new sidekick on the floor, her short but ridiculously big hair in dreadful tangles, her sweater clawed-up, her throat bruised and her body shaking with the shock and exertion, and met her wide eyes, leaning down to give her a hand so she could get up—

He stopped abruptly as he saw acute dread turn up in her eyes, her body scooting backwards in a reflex movement born from shock. Drakken turned to look behind him just in time to get a vicious jab across his jaw.

His head pounding, he stumbled backwards, almost losing his balance. He closed his eyes and cowered as Bebe-2 slashed at him again and he felt a sudden, stinging pain on his cheek.

Maybe if he hadn't been sick, maybe if he hadn't— Drakken swallowed around his sore throat, gasping, his fever making the room spin dizzily—

He could smell blood. Even through his clogged-up nostrils, he could smell the sharp, metallic scent of blood—

There was a frightening, nauseating moment as he staggered, feeling as if he was being pulled from all different directions by invisible hands, before he finally fell over, hitting the floor with a thud.

Right before he passed out, he thought he could hear the clanging and crashing of metal being beaten against metal…

* * *

Shego stood panting over the second robot, now broken. She was about to drop the robot arm when she thought she saw the robot twitch a little; she wasn't sure if it had just been her imagination or not, but she wasn't taking any chances. She slammed the robot arm down on it again. Then she gave it a couple more whacks for good measure.

Turning, she looked down at the blue man lying next to the wall, unconscious, blood running slowly down the side of his face, his lab coat ripped in two or three places. Leaning down, she squinted at his face and sighed softly as she discovered that the robot had left his eye intact.

The wound on his left cheek was rather nasty, however, and needed to be cleaned and stitched up.

She grunted a bit as she leaned down to gather his limp body up into her arms; the robots had really done a number on her. She felt bruised all over.

She decided that he needed to be put to bed no matter how much he'd complain when he woke up, and made her way towards his bedroom.

Grunting again, this time in irritation, she took note of the swanky, large bed he had and frowned as she thought of her own, small apartment.

Depositing him on the bed, she couldn't help but smirk a little. Seeing geeky Dr. Drakken going all caveman like that had certainly been something to behold, and even a little impressive. What he'd done had been almost…heroic, she supposed, what with him destroying his own creation just to save her. She was sure many villains would've sacrificed the 'hired help' in favor of something they'd worked on for many, many years.

Okay, so it hadn't exactly been an elegant delivery, what with him being all feverish and snot-nosed and his primal scream or battle cry or whatever in the world that had been sounding like somebody choking a rooster with a throat full of gravel, but the whole thing had been quite a relentless and all in all _direct_ approach, and she liked that. Just her kind of style.

Of course, she'd ended up having to rescue _him_ soon afterwards, but still…

Still…

She felt his forehead tentatively, shaking her head after a few seconds. Yes, he obviously had a fever. The guy was burning up.

Shego sighed as she hurried out to the bathroom to see if she could scrounge up an emergency kit of some sort.

This might turn out to be a long night.

* * *

When Drakken finally woke up, it was to an appraising look from Shego, who was sitting in a nearby chair with a magazine in her lap.

She got up and reached towards his face, and instinctively, he almost flinched away before he realized that she was only removing a damp cloth from his forehead. He watched in puzzlement, wondering why he was in his bed all of a sudden, as she dipped the cloth in a bowl of water on his night stand, wrung it up, folded it and reapplied it to his forehead.

"Welcome back, Dr. Destroyer."She said dryly. "Can you speak again now?"

He found himself getting irritated. No explanations, nothing, just a rude remark. But when he tried to retort, nothing came out but some squelched kind of cough. Just his luck.

Instead of laughing at him, however, she just frowned at him with what almost looked like actual concern. "Just a sec," she said and disappeared.

It took at least five minutes before she returned, time he spent moaning quietly to himself as he started taking inventory; his throat felt like a burning mess of sand and chili peppers and slime, his forehead felt hot, his jaw felt bruised and tender, every joint felt rusty and his cheek was stinging something fierce.

Finally, he struggled to push himself upright on his arms so he could lean against the headboard of the bed. He would love nothing more than to rest, but he felt as if he should at least be sitting up when Miss Shego returned, so she wouldn't have any reason to mock him or to lose what little respect she had for him. Somehow, it was just very important that he was sitting up when she got back; it was an issue of pride.

When his assistant walked into his bedroom again, she was carrying a steaming cup of something, and held it out for him to take when she'd reached his bedside. "Here, drink this."

He couldn't speak, but he gave her the universal look that clearly stated that he was not drinking whatever it was unless he got an explanation for what it was first.

"Just drink it."She told him in a brisk tone, getting impatient.

Taking the cup with hesitance, he sniffed at the contents suspiciously. His nose was clogged, but he could still sense the scent of something sharp and sweet and vaguely familiar, yet not that easily placed. Again, he looked up at her, finding it distrustful that she wasn't just telling him what it was.

"Oh, for—"She grunted in vexation. "Ginger and honey tea, okay? Ginger and honey."She repeated with deliberate slowness."Not arsenic and hemlock. Not Drain-O. Now drink it."

He gave her an offended pout, and she sighed. "Why in the world would I bother taking care of you up if I was gonna make you drink the stuff from under the sink or something, anyway?"

He shrugged as he took a sip; she had a point. He blinked; it was good, what little he was able to taste of it. He gulped down the entire cup before coughing a bit. It sounded like it was helping. Coughing was good at this point.

Sending her a more trusting look this time, he handed her the cup back and grinned hopefully at her.

She got the point and groaned. "Okay, I'll get some more, but this better show up in my salary this month…I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart," she muttered as she walked off.

When she came back, once again he drank the tea with every sign of enjoyment, coughing a little more. When he was done, she was studying him with a tilted head. "Now…habla Inglés, Blue?"

"I…th-think…I cah—huhn—"He coughed wetly and tried again. "Wh-what happened?" He asked, his voice hoarse and groggy. "All…all that stuff about the Bebes was just a dream, right?"He added, though he knew it wasn't.

"'Fraid not, Blue."She shook her head. "You passed out, but not before your beloved Bebe-2 took a swipe at you."She told him, wrinkling her nose. "That was yesterday. You've been out for a long time, it's nearly evening again. Looks like you needed the rest," she added pointedly, still sort of peeved that he hadn't just listened to her in the first place.

Bebe-2, thought Drakken, nodding in response to Miss Shego's rapport; yes, he remembered. The Bebes weren't only programmed to defend themselves, they were also programmed to keep any harm from coming to their sisters. So Bebe-2 had come to Bebe-1's aid. It was almost funny, in a vexing, tragicomic kind of way; he'd taken every precaution to make sure his precious creations, that he'd spent years on designing and re-designing and building, weren't destroyed or harmed, yet he'd ended up destroying them himself. He sighed; now he'd have to build new ones. And if he could help it, they would be even more perfect this time. He was sure Shego didn't want to hear about that right now, though.

"Here, take a look," she said quietly, handing him a mirror. "Bebe-2 left you a nice little souvenir."

Drakken was barely even hearing what she was saying, his eyes widening as he took in the damage. It was a long, nasty scar, starting not even half an inch below his eye and continuing about another three inches across his cheek in a slanted line. Apparently, she'd found his small supply of surgical thread and needles. Not exactly a common thing to keep in your medical kit, but then he was in a risky business.

"Seven stitches."Shego told him.

"Seven _badly done_ stitches…I might add," he said absentmindedly, peering at his reflection with great interest. She'd started out with four tiny stitches up near his eye, which would with any luck fade a bit with time, but then she'd gotten either nervous or impatient, because what followed were three rather unsightly, large stitches that would definitely be permanent.

"Listen, just be grateful you're stitched up at all."Shego interjected bluntly. "It's not as if I could just call a doctor to a secret, evil lair, now could I?"

"Actually, you could have."He retorted, feeling strangely calm despite everything that had happened. "I know of at least one or two doctors who specialize in villains."

She stared at him; she hadn't known. And he knew that she hadn't known, and was most likely thinking about what a newbie she was. Her eyes narrowed. "Oh, shut up."

"You were never very good at handicrafts in school when you were little, were you?"He went on, his tone a sort of annoying cheerfulness with a teasing edge to it.

"Shut it, or I'll stitch up your _mouth_, too."She warned him through gritted teeth.

Something about the exchange made him grin instead of getting annoyed, for once. "Yes, ma'am."

* * *

_**TBC.**_

**Author's note:** Thanks again to my faboo beta, Zoza. Your notes made me grin.

Ugh, yes, I did it. My contribution to _How Drakken Got His Scar_. I'm never gonna make up a story about how he got his blue skin though.

* * *


	4. December

**The Uncanny Valley**

By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** _The __Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

* * *

**December**

* * *

One day, a couple of weeks before Christmas, as he called for her and she came into the lab, it dawned on him that she'd stopped using that vexing nickname 'Blue' lately.

"You know, Dr. D, you're taking that whole scar thing pretty calmly." She remarked, before he could even open his own mouth to speak. "I kinda expected you to complain about it." She added, leaning casually on his workbench.

Of course, she wasn't actually calling him 'Dr. Drakken', either, like any respectful employee would've done. No, she was now calling him little pet names like 'Doc' or 'Dr. D', as if deliberately refusing to oblige him and give him the formality and respect he wanted.

It didn't even occur to him that there might also be other reasons for it than to annoy him; that the names could in fact _be_ a sign of respect or at least acceptance of him. Whatever he thought about it, though, for some reason he found himself unable to call her by the formal 'Miss Shego' or the slightly derogatory 'Sidekick' in place of her name.

"I don't really care about getting a scar." He shrugged, touching the scar absentmindedly as he glanced over at her where she was pulling out a nail file from the pocket of her jeans. "I mean, I'm a super _villain_, Shego, not a super _model_."

Her eyebrows rose, and she grinned slightly. "Got a point there." She said before she started filing idly at her nails.

He peered at her suspiciously for a moment to see if the comment had been a hidden insult. When she only returned his searching look with a blank stare, he let it slide. "Besides…"He added, picking up a small mirror from his work top and inspecting his reflection from every angle, "…don't you think it makes me look…you know, more evil?"

Ah, Shego thought, that would certainly explain the lack of whining. "It's 'eviler', not 'more evil'." She remarked with some smugness, pointing her nail file at him like a teacher pointing at a blackboard.

Drakken groaned; patronizingly correcting his grammar was one of her more annoying habits. "Whatever, you know what I mean!"

She tilted her head at him, considering his face for a while. Finally, she came to her conclusion. "You know…I'd have to say yes, actually."

He brightened; he hadn't expected a positive answer. "_Really_?"

She nodded. "In a very clichéd kinda way, of course…but yes, it does make you look eviler."

He scowled. "It's not clichéd, it's just…old school!"

"If it makes you feel better to call it something else, then by all means…"Shego sighed, shaking her head. "But don't tell me you called me in here just to get my opinion on your new look. I'm a villainess, not your personal fashion consultant."

"No, no," Drakken waved a hand dismissively, realizing he'd let himself get sidetracked. "I wanted to tell you that I'm giving you the next two months off."

"…okay?" Shego stared. "Um, not that I'm not ecstatic, but…why?"

"Since the Bebes were destroyed, I have to rebuild them, and I have to straighten out the flaws in their programming." Drakken said somewhat reluctantly, dragging a hand across his face as he sighed. "That'll take a while, but at least I don't have to design them from scratch, so it won't take as long as the last time. I've got plenty of spare parts now, so you don't have to hang around to steal things for me this time around. I just need to work in peace for a while."

Again, Shego stared, but this time in pure disbelief rather than mild confusion. "We were almost _killed_, and you're_ seriously _going to _rebuild _those things?" She demanded sharply, taking a step forward, her nail file bending dangerously under the pressure of her clenching fist.

Drakken's eyes widened at her angry expression and he took a small step backwards before he suddenly wondered why he was worried and why she was acting like that when she was just his assistant. He was the boss around here! He didn't have to excuse or explain his plans!

"Well, I _have_ been working on them since college, Shego." He said firmly before he straightened his back, clearing his throat to prepare a speech. "I've had problems with them before, and I've always managed to fix them, so it's not as if I'm going to give up _now_! They're almost perfect now, there are just a few things left I have to—"He paused, glaring at Shego. "Oh, don't give me that look!"

"What look?" She asked innocently.

The glare stayed put. "Like you think I'm nuts."

_Well, you __**are**__, if you're telling me __**that**__,_ Shego thought, and for a jumbled moment, she considered quitting; simply walking away and never looking back. But she was just starting out, she hadn't even been working for the Doc for a year yet, and she hadn't done anything bigger than robbing banks and labs and factories. So she wouldn't be considered a major league player in the world of villainy, and nobody really worthwhile would want to hire her, especially with her particular past. Also, she was just turning twenty-four in a few months; all the super villains she knew of were at least well past thirty.

And then, of course, there was the fact that Dr. D had sacrificed a project he'd been working on for years in order to save his assistant…what other megalomaniac, half-mad scientist villain would ever do that?

Squirming mentally as she pushed the option of quitting to the back of her mind for now, she held her tongue and only looked at her employer, waiting to see what he had to say for himself.

Drakken's glare diminished to a frown as he saw that she wasn't going to mock him and was actually being serious as she waited for him to talk. "This time I'll program you and the henchmen into their voice recognition right away." He began, confidence filling up his voice as he went along. "I won't make the same mistake again, all right? And you'll have a remote control, too, just in case." He promised. "Just you leave me alone for a while, and I'll straighten out the flaws. There's always room for improvement, after all." He added somewhat haughtily, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah, I'd like to 'improve' them with a sledgehammer…"Shego muttered darkly, and he wanted to be mad at her, but found that he couldn't work himself up to more than 'somewhat miffed'.

Because in some ways, he really couldn't blame her for feeling like that.

After he'd recovered from that strange flu/bronchitis/laryngitis combo, or whatever he'd suffered from, he'd gone to clean up the destroyed Bebe robots— he could've just asked his henchmen to do it since it was mainly scrap metal, but somehow he'd felt moved to do it himself— and as he'd picked up the decapitated head of Bebe-2 and looked into its lifeless, staring eyes, he'd understood for maybe the first time why Shego had fallen into The Uncanny Valley, so to speak.

There really was something sort of…_eerie _about a device of such human likeness moving around and talking a like human being. For a fleeting moment, he'd found himself wondering whether the Bebes had felt any pain when he and his assistant had broken them apart— then he'd immediately scolded himself for entertaining such a foolish, irrational and above all _impossible_ notion for even a second. He'd built them himself from scratch, and knew every component, every function— and they _couldn't_ feel pain because _he_, their creator, hadn't made them able to do so. They didn't have any nerve endings; they didn't have any pain receptors. They were impervious to pain of any kind.

And yet…

He'd never admit to having thought that way, though, especially not to Shego.

She was silly for being affected like that by his robots and giving them human qualities they didn't have, and so was he…even if it had only been for a second or two.

The Bebes did have Artificial Intelligence and were capable of independent thought— well, 'thought' was really the wrong term to use there, he thought hastily; 'operation' was closer to the reality of it— but he'd made them and he controlled them, and there was nothing for him or his assistant to fear. The only ones who needed to be frightened of the Bebes were their enemies…and among them; the doctors Ramesh, Possible and Chen.

Oh, yes, revenge really _was_ a dish best served cold.

"The Bebes will be perfect this time." He said with total conviction, like some prophet predicting the future. "After all these years, I'll finally show them."

As Drakken turned his head to look at her, he saw Shego looking at him like he was a head case again, but this time it was almost as if there was some worry there as well as the earlier malcontent incredulity.

"Anyway, that's not the only thing I need to do." He said quickly, changing the subject. "I also need to hone the global domination schemes I've been working on lately. I'm developing one that's really good, but I also have to prepare one or two backup plans—"

Shego's eyes bore into her employer, deeply suspicious. "I thought you were going to use the _robots _for world conquest?"

Despite his earlier decision that she had no right to object to his agendas, Drakken hesitated when he saw the look on her face and heard her voice, which was becoming strained. There was definitely a note of warning in there. "Well, um, yes…"He began tentatively, rubbing the side of his neck, "I mean, yes, they could be, but first and foremost…they were sort of for…um, revenge."

"_REVENGE_?" Her voice exploded into the room like heavy metal blasted at full volume on a stereo with a particularly good subwoofer.

Drakken cringed. "Yes?"

Shego stared at him before drawing a long breath. "You want me to help you get _revenge_?" Shego said slowly, as if she couldn't believe her eyes and ears. "That's_ it_? _That's _your big plan? "She demanded, her voice rising in volume again as she began to reconsider quitting. "No money, no global domination, no—"

"You wouldn't have to come with me, Shego!" Drakken blurted, waving his arms in placation. "I want to do this alone. This is…personal." He added grimly.

Shego blinked at that revelation. Okay, so at least he wasn't intending to drag her along on his silly, personal vendetta, and she supposed she could live with this since she _had_ gotten paid for her troubles, after all…but she hoped he didn't plan on making a habit of keeping her in the dark like this; she wasn't quite sure if he'd done it on purpose or if he'd just forgotten to tell her. He was arrogant enough for the former and scatterbrained enough for the latter. It could be either one.

"All right," she grunted, sending him a stern look as she put her hand on her hip, "but it still annoys me that you had me stealing all those parts for the robots and you never—"

Drakken frowned. "I never actually_ told_ you that I was going to use the Bebes for world domination, did I?"

"Oh, don't give me that!" Shego snapped. "You must've known that I'd assume that was what we were doing. I mean, that's the kind of business we're in, right?"

"Right! And we will!" Drakken promised quickly. "I mean, why do you think I had you training my henchmen and being my lab assistant? I'm planning other things, too." He insisted, getting somewhat irritated at having to explain himself like that. He wasn't used to it; his henchmen never questioned him. "I just also have to do this. It's just a side project of mine. It's important to me."

"Whatever," Shego grumbled, blanching a little. "Just keep those creepy Stepford wives away from me, that's all I'm asking."

Drakken gave her a puzzled look. "Stepford wives? What wives? I'm not even married, and certainly not to more than one woman! And where in the world is Stepford, anyway?"

Shego stared at him for a second or two before groaning; she should've known he wouldn't get it. "Never mind," she said, letting it go, "I meant your robots. Just keep them away from me, okay?" She went on, suppressing the urge to shudder.

Drakken was annoyed at his sidekick trying to give him what seemed like an order, but he was still feeling…well, kind of guilty about what happened with the Bebes, and supposed that the wise thing would be to simply keep them away from her. If he didn't, it'd probably end with either her getting harmed again or his robots getting destroyed once more, and that would be a massive waste of time and money, not to mention that he'd risk his employee quitting on him. "Fine," he agreed, rolling his eyes. "I'll just rebuild them in my other lair."

Shego's eyes widened slightly with interest. "You have _more _than one lair, Doc?" She asked, intrigued. Well, this looked sort of promising; maybe he was more resourceful than she'd thought. A second base of operation could certainly come in handy.

"Sure, it's in the Caribbean." Drakken said, preening a little as he got the opportunity to show off his resources. "I just had it built last month with all that money you stole this summer."

Shego gaped. "The money _I_ stole? And when exactly were you going to tell me this?" She demanded tightly.

"This is my way of telling you." Drakken shrugged. "Besides, it's only been done for about a week."

"Well, at least you picked a good spot for it," Shego said with fake cheerfulness, suppressing the urge to growl. She'd stolen the money for her employer as part of her job, she'd been paid handsomely, and the money she'd stolen had been his to spend on his projects. That had been their deal. She'd even stashed away some of the stolen money for a rainy day without him knowing about it, so she supposed she couldn't object, but it still irked her that he hadn't deemed it necessary to tell her of his plans.

As another thought occurred to her, she peered at him, leaning slightly forward. "Dr. D…have you actually tried taking over the world before?"

When she'd first become his employee, she hadn't been too picky since there weren't that many work options for an ex-hero in the world of villainy, and she'd been content for a while, just knowing she had gotten the heck away from Go Tower and was involved with something evil in general, and the pay had been okay— especially compared to the _no payment whatsoever_ that heroes got— the lair impressive, and it had been interesting to see villainy from the other side.

So she had been careful not to make any demands, just wanting to get a foot in the door with a villain, but lately she'd started wanting to see some actual evil results. She'd been stealing and robbing left and right, yes, and had often left destruction in her wake— which had satisfied some of her evil urges and had already put her on the wanted list in a good handful of countries— but it was hardly impressive on a super villain scale.

Now she wanted to go for something bigger— more dramatic, more exciting.

"Well, sure!" He exclaimed. "I mean, I started out small…first I tried to take over countries…Belgium, Denmark, Spain …but last year I did make one or two attempts at global domination, yes." He said proudly, puffing out his chest with self-satisfaction even while attempting to seem nonchalant. "You probably heard about it on the news."

Shego refrained from commenting; she hadn't heard anything about it at all. "And you're…not even running Belgium by now." Shego stated bluntly, a sinking kind of feeling setting in with her; this didn't sound good.

Drakken looked affronted. "Hey, if at first you don't succeed—"

"Fail again?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Very nice, Shego." Drakken shot back, simmering. "With you on my team making sarcastic, pessimistic comments, we're sure to succeed the next time, right?"

Shego shrugged. "Just give me a crack at it, and we'll see."

Drakken paused. "Well, yes..."He mumbled, rubbing his chin in thought. "I think maybe it _is _time to let you have a shot at world domination." He sent her a contemplative look. "I'm curious to see what you can do."

Grinning shamelessly, she tilted her chin up. "Trust me, Doc, I won't let you down."

He gave her a long look before shrugging. "You'll see it's not quite that easy, but at least you have the confidence."

"And not to forget— handy dandy super powers." She added in a falsely sweet, upbeat tone.

"And those, too," Drakken admitted grudgingly. Her super powers really _were_ assets to his evil operation, but she didn't have to gloat about them, did she? She'd only acquired them by accident, anyway, he thought, trying to suppress the twinge of jealousy; it could've happened to anybody, even him. "But there's a time and place for everything, Shego, and the time and place for gloating is over your enemies when they're defeated or over the subdued masses when I'm the ruler of the world!" He declared. She needed to learn a thing or two about super villainy. Lucky for her, she was under the wing of Dr. Drakken, mad scientist and evil genius extraordinaire.

Shego was about to retort with something sarcastic about how he wasn't exactly the right person to complain about other people gloating, but as she contemplated the picture he painted with his words, she did have to admit that it sounded kind of appealing. "Whaddaya know," she smirked appreciatively, "that _does_ sound kinda…_fun_."

"Doesn't it_ just_?" Drakken nodded eagerly, shaking his fists a little in glee; then he suddenly halted. "Oh, I just remembered! I need a new lab coat to go with my new scar! They were having a sale at Doomingdales, so I bought a few yesterday, but I don't know which one to choose!" He exclaimed excitedly before rushing off to his bedroom. "Just— hang around for a second, okay? I want your opinion before you leave!" He called over his shoulder.

Shego followed his retreat with her gaze.

Yeah, he definitely needed to update his wardrobe. What he usually wore— a white, ordinary lab coat that had seen better days and looked like it belonged on a high school science room teacher, faded slacks and comfortable sweaters— didn't exactly proclaim 'I'm a powerful super villain! Cower before me!"

More like 'I'm a science geek with too much free time on my hands'.

However, bad fashion sense aside…when she thought about his decision to rebuild the robots, she realized she had to sort of admire someone who had that much will power and determination. Of course, it could just be plain old stupidity, insanity or stubborn obsession, but still…it really took some guts to just be able to grit your teeth and soldier on after almost having yourself and your assistant killed by your own inventions. Something like that could really traumatize you or at least completely dishearten you about your own talents as an inventor if you weren't a strong individual.

Shego grinned; she supposed it came with the whole 'mad scientist' package.

Suddenly, she blinked— 'Doomingdales'? Didn't he mean 'Bloomingdales'?

* * *

"Black and green?" Drakken suggested eagerly as he held one of his new lab coats up to his chest.

Shego was clearly not happy with his choice, her lips pursing in distaste as if she'd just sucked a particularly sour lemon. "Green is _my_ thing, Doc." She said firmly.

His face fell. "But—"

"But you've got the right idea with the black." She interrupted. "I haven't met a single villain who hasn't worn at least _something_ black."

He brightened a little. "Well, then…how about this one?" He said, holding up a new lab coat and shaking it slightly. "All black?"

Shego shook her head, stern. "Black is classy and goes with anything, but a long black coat like that is just _way_ too Matrix." She made a small, bored sound in the back of her throat. "And that fad is _so over_."

Drakken was perplexed. "Matrix?"

"Hoo boy, you really keep up with the times, don't you?" She sighed; her employer might be a self-proclaimed evil genius, but his grasp on contemporary popular culture was disturbingly weak. "Just…trust me on that, okay?"

"Nnnggh." Drakken grunted, feeling as if he was being patronized.

"How about black and _red_?" Shego tried diplomatically, not wanting to send her employer into one of his moods.

"No!" He blurted, eyes going wide before they narrowed with disgust. "_Dementor_ wears that!"

"Oy…!" Shego groaned. "Let's move on," she said quickly to avoid yet another rant about his rival; they could go on forever.

Still, she preferred rants and creepy robots to really _loud_ rants, drooling mutant dachshunds, a lair that had smelled like strudel and sauerkraut, and not to mention an employer that had tried to hit on her. She knew all about Dementor and didn't need to hear any more; that was one of the first interviews she'd been on. That was the thing about having a super villain as a boss; you couldn't find one that didn't have his or her eccentricities, annoying habits and weird modus operandi, so you'd just have to settle for picking— or in her case, what with her suspicious resume, be picked _by_— somebody who had a personality you could live with despite their flaws. And not being subjected to any form of sexual harassment was at the top of her list.

"Okay," Drakken sighed, "how about this one?"

Shego stared at the new lab coat that he was now holding up in front of himself.

And stared.

And stared some more.

"What?" Drakken asked uncertainly.

"Are my eyes deceiving me," Shego asked with a disbelieving slowness, "or am I actually looking at a _plaid_ lab coat?"

"Well—"

"…_plaid_, Doc? _Plaid_? "Her tone was reprimanding, as if he was some sort of ill-behaved student.

"I _know_!" Drakken practically wailed, growing embarrassed as he realized the coat really was as lame as he'd secretly suspected. "It's just— the salesgirl insisted! Said it went so well with my complexion!"

Shego just stared again.

"She said it was the latest thing!" He ventured defensively, trying to explain how he'd come into possession of this abomination. "She said everyone would be wearing plaid this year!"

"No, only goofballs." Shego said dryly.

"Shego!"

"Besides, you don't wanna go with 'the latest thing'," Shego insisted, starting to go into a small rant of her own, "you wanna go with something classic, something that'll last, something that'll work for your villain persona and—"

Shego halted as Drakken held up another lab coat.

Drakken noticed her staring again and groaned. "Look, this is the _last_ one I have, so _please_ don't tell me that—"

"Lemme see." Shego demanded, intrigued despite herself.

"Here." He held it out to her.

There was a short, impatient grunt. "No, I mean, put it _on_."

He blinked. "Now?"

"No, tomorrow!" She rolled her eyes before she started pushing him out of the room. "Now go! Shoo!"

"Okay, okay!" Drakken yelped. "I'm going!"

* * *

"Well?" Drakken glanced at his assistant when she'd walked around him slowly for a moment or two, considering his new look.

"Turn around." Shego ordered, a contemplative frown on her face as she studied him. "Hmmm…"She murmured, sounding skeptical as he turned.

"_Well_?" Drakken repeated, getting impatient and just a little self-conscious at the scrutiny.

"You know…?"She said eventually, looking somewhat shocked. "The blue actually _works_? I mean, with your skin color, you'd think it'd be too monotonous," she smirked, and he glared at her, "but this dark shade actually _works_."

"So this is it?" He asked hopefully. "This one?"

She nodded. "I'd say so."

"Great!" Drakken grinned. "You know," he went on, with an air of self-righteous amusement, "for somebody who claimed not to be my 'personal fashion consultant', you're really serious about this."

Shego sent him a withering look. "If I have to be seen with you, you have to look decent. I have a reputation to build up as a villainess here. I don't want to look lame by association."

"Hey, now—"

"Besides, who in their right mind could ever take a villain in a _plaid lab coat_ seriously?"

"I _told_ you! You have _no_ idea how _pushy _that salesgirl was!"

* * *

When he'd put away the lab coats he wasn't going to use, and came back into the lab, tugging a bit at his outfit in that exploratory way people with new clothes did, he noticed that she was still there.

She was lounging in a chair, reading some magazine. She left those things all over his lair, and at times he found himself absentmindedly picking them up and reading pointless articles about hair care. It was becoming a nuisance. The thought made him forget his earlier enthusiasm over his new lab coat and gave him the sudden urge to lecture her. That, and he was still feeling like a fool about the plaid lab coat and wanted to take it out on somebody.

"If you're going to work here, you'll have to keep better track of your things," he said gruffly, glancing at her as he walked by and over to the window to look at the view. It was starting to snow.

"What now?" He heard her mumble disinterestedly behind him.

"Your magazines." Drakken told his employee impatiently, "I found one on my sandwich yesterday, and the day before that, there was one under my gravatomic ray."

"I'll stash 'em in a box or something, whatever." She replied in that same distracted tone.

"You know, I don't even know why you bother to read those." He went on snippily, suddenly irritated over her lax attitude. "They're so…ditzy. They're all ads and make-up tips and silly personal quizzes. You have a college education, for pity's sake— why don't you pick up a book instead?"

"Because sometimes I don't feel like immersing myself in college literature, sometimes I just crave easy entertainment." She told him languidly. "Besides, I don't give you a hard time about_ your_ choice of reading material, nerd boy." She added, shooting him a pointed look.

Fuming from the insult, Drakken retorted. "Well, if you're going to insist on reading those things, why don't you try something more suitable?"

"Oh, yeah?" Shego asked carelessly. "Like what?"

"Like a magazine for people in our business." He said matter-of-factly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shego gawked at him before she got up, leaving her magazine behind, walking across the floor and joining him in front of the large window. "Villains have their own _magazines_? You're kidding?"

Drakken scoffed and stared at her overbearingly, still sore from the 'nerd boy' comment, but feeling a little vindicated because of her ignorance. "You didn't _know_?"

Shego sighed, sending him a 'duh' look. "Well, it's not exactly something they sell down at the corner store, now is it?"

"You're right, they don't." He conceded after considering it for a second, and shrugged. "You probably have to get a subscription. We can look around at the next villain convention." He suggested, getting sidetracked from his bad mood.

"Huh." She blinked as it occurred to her that 'Doomingdales' probably hadn't just been a mispronunciation; she made a mental note to check it out some other time. Shaking her head, she grinned faintly. "A villain _convention_, too? Well, that should be interesting…"

"And Dementor will be _so _jealous now that I have a sidekick!" He piped up as the thought occurred to him, joining her with his own grin, though his was much wider; his eyes practically sparkling with eagerness to upstage his rival.

"Boys will be boys," Shego muttered sarcastically under her breath, feeling a bit indignant over yet another 'sidekick' comment. Who was she, Robin? He sure as heck wasn't Batman, though he did seem to have about as many weird gadgets lying around.

Sighing, she looked out across the houses not far from their lair. The Middleton lair contrasted quite jarringly with the cozy, suburban houses, and it was strange that nobody stared at the building as they walked by. She was starting to wonder if super villains and their lairs were more common fare than she'd known, outside of Go City. They had to be if they even had their own damn magazines…

Drakken glanced at her sideways, mildly curious as he looked at her kind of just…standing there. Again, she was doing that thing where she kind of just…kept hanging around even if she didn't need to, like she'd used to do when she was working for him less often. He'd already excused her— he'd given her two months off, even— yet here she was, still.

"So…what are you doing for Christmas? And your vacation?" Drakken felt inclined to ask as they stood there looking at the snowflakes tumbling down outside. He wasn't that good at small talk, and that was the only thing he could think of to say.

Shego didn't even need to contemplate her answer. "I'm going away on a tropical island somewhere."

Drakken's unibrow rose in surprise. "For two months? You can afford that?"

A sly smirk zipped across his assistant's lips. "I can't, but you can."

"Huh? Hey—"Drakken started to object.

Shego fixed him with a stern look. "That's what I'm expecting for my Christmas bonus— that is, if you expect me to keep working here after your robots nearly killed me."

His frown deepened and he stared at her and her unwavering, resolved expression for a very long time until he finally sighed, nodding. "Fine. You'll get your bonus." He grumbled as he wondered if this was why she'd stuck around; just so she could con this Christmas bonus out of him. Still, he supposed she deserved it after everything that had happened, and he also figured it might be a good idea to give her some incentive to continue working for him after nearly getting killed.

Besides, he could probably just lower the henchmen's wages for a while to make up for it.

There was a pause.

Shego cleared her throat. "What about you?"

"Hmm?" He asked absentmindedly as he was busy stewing in a small sulk over the loss of money.

"For, you know…Christmas?" She went on, shifting her weight around a little and brushing her heavy bangs out of her face; she wasn't that used to casual chatting. She mostly just bantered. "What are you doing?"

He cleared his throat. "Well—"

"You're gonna dress up as Santa and try to steal Christmas, aren't you?" She interrupted him, suddenly feeling like teasing him a little.

Drakken scoffed loudly, peering at her with annoyance. "For your _information_, I'm going to go home and visit my mother."

An uncomfortable look crossed Shego's face. "…yeah. Family holiday and all. You have fun with that." She was glad to be away from her brothers and Go Tower, and she had no regrets, but when it came to things like Christmas, there was still some wistful part of her left that hadn't died yet in the past months. No matter, though. She'd make her own traditions. New ones.

Drakken chuckled dryly. "Fun? Then you have no idea what a nuisance my family is. All my mother wants to talk about is why I haven't settled down and started a family of my own yet. And don't even get me started on the stories I have to make up to cover up the fact that I'm a super villain now—"

Shego gaped at her employer. "She doesn't _know_?"

"Uhh…no." Drakken looked wretched for a moment as he glanced away, scratching at his jaw. "I just…she's an old lady and I don't want to upset her."

Shego's lips twitched into a crooked smile. "Lemme get this straight…you want to take over the world and rule it…but you don't want to upset your _mom_?"

He sighed in defeat, groaning. "You don't know how Mother can get."

Her eyebrow arched with inquisition. "Don't you think she'll find out eventually?"

"I…I'd rather not think about that." He mumbled evasively.

Shego shook her head. "You are one _strange_ guy."

"Am _not_!"

* * *

_**TBC. **_

**Author's note: **A huge thanks to **Charlotte C**, who was my beta reader for this chapter. Be sure to check out her D/S stories, _So Not A Date _and _Married, With Issues_. They're well-written, interesting, amusing and include some nice, _non-sugary_ D/S romance, just the way us D/S'ers like it. She keeps them in character. **  
**

I've rewritten the first three chapters just slightly, fixing some goof ups; like forgetting that Shego wasn't supposed to call Drakken 'Doc' and 'Dr. D' yet, and that Drakken wasn't supposed to call her 'Shego'.

I know that that Drakken told Shego about hiding the truth of his evil ways from his mother in the episode _Mother's Day_, which kind of implies that she didn't know, but I'm basing this chapter on the poetic license-ish assumption that she knew, except that Drakken, what with a couple of years having passed, had forgotten that he'd told her already. In this universe, Shego just didn't know about his ridiculous cover story of being a radio host.

I was trying to figure out what color the lab coats should be, and I'd come up with black/green, black, Shego suggesting black/red and then of course his usual blue one, but I needed one more. **Mego ZT** helped me brainstorm and came up with the idea of one of Drakken's potential lab coats being plaid-patterned, and I just went with it. Thanks, pal. XD

Check out the KP fic he wrote in collaboration with Teh Dipstick; _Dimension Reality Check_.

'Doomingdales' is just a lame name I made up for a clothing store for villains.

I don't hate Dementor, I could just imagine him maybe trying to hit on Shego, who is an attractive woman in the KP universe, as we all know. Dementor does seem very self-confident and forward. Also, I found it plausible that one of the reasons why Shego would agree to work for Drakken would be that he didn't try to flirt with his employees.

For the lair they're currently in, I chose the suburban, what-might-be-Middleton location of the lair they used in _Naked Genius_.

_**The Stepford Wives**_ is a 1972 novel by Ira Levin. Two movies of the same name have been adapted from the novel; the first starred Katharine Ross and was released in 1975, while a remake starring Nicole Kidman appeared in 2004.

The protagonist is Joanna Eberhart, a talented photographer newly arrived from New York City with her husband and children, eager to start a new life. As time goes on, she becomes increasingly disturbed by the zombie-like Stepford wives, especially when she sees her once independent-minded friends— fellow new arrivals to Stepford— turn into mindless, docile housewives overnight. Her husband, who seems to be spending more and more time at the local men's club, mocks her fears.

As the story progresses, Joanna becomes convinced that the wives of Stepford are actually look-alike gynoids (humanoid, female-looking robots), manufactured in secret at the men's club.

* * *


	5. February

**The Uncanny Valley**  
By Ninnik Nishukan

* * *

**Summary:** _The __Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

* * *

**February**

* * *

Two months later, when Shego returned after her prolonged vacation, she was wearing—

"Isn't that your old Team Go outfit?" Drakken asked, forgetting all about greeting her as she walked into the lab. Blinking in surprise, he put down the welder and pulled off his protective goggles.

"Yeah, so?" Shego halted in front of him and cocked her hip as if daring him to comment any further.

"Well…" Drakken began, uncertain as he saw the no-nonsense expression on her face. "Considering what that suit represents, I would've imagined that you wouldn't want to—"

"Yeah, well, that was before your killer robots attacked me, wasn't it?" Shego said, her tone of voice turning slightly colder. "So I figured that if I was gonna stay in this business, I'd have to dress in something suitable. This outfit is the only thing I have that's tough enough to withstand something like that. I may not like the thought, but hey— I'm a practical kinda girl."

Shego hadn't donned the dreaded suit since she'd quit being a hero, not wanting to be associated with Team Go anymore, but there were some advantages to the suit that she'd missed— the durability of the fabric, the convenient pouch, the gloves that could withstand her plasma and of course how well the colors suited her and how well it showed off her figure— and she figured she was ready to wear it again.

She'd studied Psychology, but she didn't need her degree to know that if she wasn't able to wear the outfit, it wouldn't exactly send out a signal that she'd gotten over her past as a hero. It would make it look, in fact, as if the complete opposite was the case.

It was what she_ did_ that made her evil, she'd decided, not what she _wore_.

Besides, it would be satisfying to possibly even sully the good name of Team Go by committing crimes in this suit.

Drakken looked her over for a moment before he finally shrugged. "Fine by me. At least the colors seem…you know, villainous."

"Oh, good, because I wasn't going to wear it unless it met with your approval." Shego said, with strong sarcasm.

Sarcasm that went right over Drakken's head.

Drakken grinned with satisfaction. "Yes, I'd say it's suitable for a super villain's sidekick. Green and black will work just fine."

Shego sighed, letting it go; he had a good point about the colors, anyway. They really _were_ suitable for villainy, which was one of the reasons why she'd decided to keep the suit. Besides, she was getting kind of used to his obliviousness, and there were other issues that she wanted to address. "Okay, Doc, I finally_ gotta_ ask— what is _up_ with all the 'sidekick' crap?" She asked, tilting her head at him.

Making a peeved little grunt, Drakken gestured at his work area. "Look, Shego, I've been doing some research, and I've decided that I do need a sidekick." He told her frankly. "And a sidekick isn't just a job, it's something you _are_, and it's a full-time thing, so I want you to come live with me." He said, and it sounded more like a decision he'd made already that he was sure she'd agree with, than an actual request for her consent.

She had a sensation that felt like the mental equivalent of a tumble weed blowing across an empty wasteland.

She stared at him. She couldn't have heard him right. Just couldn't have.

Her tongue finally started working again, and she sputtered: "E-ex_cuse_ me? You want me to _live_ with you?"

He answered in a perfectly casual manner, looking like he hadn't even noticed how she'd interpreted his statement. "I have arranged for you to have your own quarters, and it would only be on the weekdays. On the weekends you're free to live wherever you like." He flapped a dismissive hand.

It began to dawn on her that he might not have meant it in a sleazy kind of way. "You were actually _serious_ about all that sidekick stuff?" She queried, her mind slightly muddled as she tried to get rid of the unsettling images her misunderstanding had thrown at her.

"Well, yes," he said honestly, looking bewildered. "I mean, why else do you think I was going around calling you that?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe I thought you were just being a megalomaniac super villain?" Her tone was sarcastic and somewhat testy. "Maybe I thought you were just being condescending to annoy me and make yourself feel all high and mighty?"

Drakken smirked faintly. "No, that's _your _job, Shego."

Shego's eyes widened. "Wait, wait, wait— did you just make a _joke_?"

"Well—"

"An actual _joke_? _You_?"

Drakken harrumphed crankily. "All right, all right, I get it. Very funny."

Shego fought down a grin. "So," she asked, tossing her hair slightly, "when were you planning on letting me in on the fact that I'm apparently your sidekick all of a sudden? When were you going to actually ask me if I even _wanted _the job?"

"Well, I decided this about a month or two ago, but naturally I wanted try it out first, to see how it'd work out before I invited you to live here." Drakken explained, proudly throwing out his arms to indicate his cavernous lair.

A soft, exasperated sigh escaped her. "Okay, fine, I guess that makes sense. But about this job…I don't like the title as it is, but if you think I'm going to put up with having to wear a matching costume to yours or something, you've got another thing coming, I can tell you—"

Drakken grimaced in horror. "Oh, no, nothing like that! Yeesh! What do you take me for?"

Shego gave him a look, and he quickly stopped her as he realized he was opening her mouth to banter. "Don't answer that." He growled in warning.

She kept quiet, smirking with wicked mirth.

"Anyway," he exhaled, scowling briefly at her to check if she was going to say anything, "there are no silly costumes, okay? It's just a step up from 'assistant', that's all. You get to live here five days a week, and you'll probably get a raise," he told her grudgingly. "_If _you're good at your job," he added, just in case she'd try to collect on that raise later.

She nodded to show that she was listening.

"A 'sidekick' is more than a simple assistant, Shego. I'll let you in on all my plans, and you'll get to work closely with me as I try to take over the world." He gloated, throwing his arms out in a generous gesture. "Oh, I know that 'sidekick' must hold some negative connotations, but _you'll_ be an _Evil Sidekick_! Not some brat following some beefy, brainless cardboard cutout schmuck around, spouting silly catchphrases and always getting kidnapped!" He scoffed dismissively. "No, _you'll _be the one kidnapping others, Shego— when you join me in doing evil on a full-time basis!"

Shego hummed absentmindedly in the back of her throat as she listened to his spiel, picking at a fingernail as she mulled this offer over. When he put 'evil' in front of 'sidekick' like that, suddenly it didn't sound so bad anymore, for some reason. He was right; the word 'sidekick' did have many bad associations, but she was starting to wonder if maybe being a sidekick on this side of the law would be different. "Uh, and exactly _why_ did you decide that you needed a 'sidekick'?" She asked eventually.

"Here, you should see this," He said as he pulled a sheaf of papers out of a drawer, spreading them out over his desk. "I found these interesting, old newspaper cut-outs. It's all about super villains getting captured and having their operations shut down for good— some of them date all the way back to the thirties."

"You could've probably found those online, you know," she commented, "it would've been much faster."

Drakken scowled. "Just…be quiet and listen for once, okay?"

Shego nodded with feigned innocence.

Drakken grunted tetchily, but went on. "Anyway, they failed because…well, they went nuts. I mean, just look at what happened to Zamzar the Insane—"

Shego cut him off in a dry tone. "Wow, yeah…I'd be really surprised, too, if a guy named Joe Psycho suddenly cracked one day."

"He didn't _used_ to be called that, Shego." Drakken grumbled.

Shego rolled her eyes, wondering if she'd ever get used to his inability to take a joke. "So, I guess you're gonna tell me _why_ they went nuts now?" She sighed.

Drakken straightened his back, pleased at what seemed like actual interest from his assistant. "Glad you asked." He drew a deep breath. "The thing is, you see, that they spent far too much time alone, you know— just planning and plotting by themselves in their lairs with no company, because they were afraid that somebody would…I don't know, steal their ideas and sell them to other villains or rat them out to the authorities or something. In the end, these hermit-like lives of theirs turned them into antisocial, paranoid people who had little to no grasp on reality and made up one plan crazier than the other because they had very little human contact, no feedback, no criticism— anyway, you get the point." He made a pause for effect. "Spend too much time alone, and you might just go insane."

Shego gave him a long, disbelieving look. "So…basically what you're saying here is that I'm on board as your ticket to sanity?"

He shot her a sour glance. "I wouldn't put it like that, I mean…I don't think I'm actually going to go mad, but it doesn't hurt to have some company, you know? When you look at these stories, it's obvious that most of these people started out as normal as you or me—"

Shego, a woman with pale green skin and super powers, raised her eyebrows incredulously at Drakken, a mad scientist with blue skin.

He hesitated. "Okay, um, maybe we're bad examples…but, uh, you know what I _mean_, anyway, right? The tendency is that the super villains with sidekicks are the ones who fare the best. It's not only the insanity thing; it's a matter of having someone to consult with, I guess, and having some backup. When I'm busy launching my latest doomsday device, I need somebody to keep away the authorities and…I dunno," he shrugged as he flapped a hand, "the heroes or something?"

"So…defense, advice and sanity control, huh? Gotcha." She said in a brisk let's-move-it-along kind of manner.

Drakken gave a frustrated little grunt of objection. "Well, there's more to it than that. You're making it sound so simple. I mean, you're also my lab assistant, for starters, and you're my go-to-gal for breaking and entering—"

"Lots of extra jobs, too, which equal extra pay. Got it." Shego went on in the same tone, nodding.

Drakken glared. "Good assistants don't interrupt their employers."

"Good employers don't bore their assistants with unnecessary repetition and long-winded rants." She parried.

He crossed his arms over his chest, pursing his lips. "You still have a lot to learn about super villainy, I see."

"Apparently." Shego replied flatly.

He was about to retort, but then he tilted his head at her curiously as something distracted him. "You know…there's something different about you today."

Shego shrugged, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm growing my hair out."

"Oh?" He grinned. "What a coincidence. Me too."

Shego shot him a disapproving look. "Long hair? You? Now? At _your _time of life? What's next, a shiny sports car and a busty blonde?"

He glowered. "I'm only thirty-eight! I'm not even forty! If you're suggesting I'm going through some kind of mid-life crisis—"

"Wouldn't dream of it." Shego said innocently.

"Hmph!" Drakken sniffed. "Now, about your quarters…"

As she followed after her boss, Shego had the fleeting, perturbing feeling that she might still be around to witness his mid-life crisis if or when he actually had one.

"So, Dr. D…" She grinned as she checked out her new room, starting to feel excited after all. "About this world domination thing?"

He glanced at her as he leaned on the doorframe. "What about it?"

"When do we start?"

Drakken's eyes lit up, and he grinned back at her; she instantly recognized his pre-gloating face. "Glad you asked, Shego…"

**The End****.**

* * *

**Author's note:** Thanks to the wonderful **Charlotte C** for doing the beta reading for me again. Be sure to check out her fics.

Zamzar the Insane is named after the Zamzar online file converter. It just sounded like a villainous name to me.

I love giving the Doc a welder and goggles. I'm sure I've done it far too often in most of my stories.

I just thought it would make sense for Shego to stop wearing the Team Go uniform for a while after quitting the hero business. She's wearing it from season one and onwards, though, so I had to put her back in it. I figured maybe she'd wear that black cat burgling outfit from _Two To Tutor_ when she wasn't wearing her Team Go uniform, at least when she was out on missions. The rest of the time, I imagined she'd wear normal clothes.

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	6. Kim Possible Time

**The Uncanny Valley**  
By Ninnik Nishukan

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**Summary:** _The Uncanny Valley_ is a hypothesis about robotics concerning the emotional response of humans to robots and other non-human entities. A younger Dr. Drakken and his newly-hired assistant Shego experience the effect of it first-hand. Pre-series Drakken and Shego friendship. No romance, but plenty of Drakken and Shego interaction.

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**Epilogue:** **Kim Possible Time**

* * *

Dr. Drakken had barely had time to brood and stew over his recent failure for a few hours before the window and the back wall of his prison cell was blown away.

Squeaking with shock, he threw himself to the floor.

When the dust cleared and he dared to look up, he discovered his sidekick standing in the hover car right outside, both her long, dark hair and the green plasma that surrounded her hands fluttering in the wind; the plasma giving her face an eerie glow.

He blinked at her pose and her cool, calm smirk; she was really developing that good old villain flare for the dramatic. To anybody else, what with her hands lit up like that, it would have looked like she'd simply blasted through the wall like a kid would punch through a wet paper bag.

He knew better, though; after having had Shego for an inmate, most prisons had started making her and his cells plasma proof. Judging by the sound and size of the explosion, the training he'd given her on explosives last year had really paid off. She was nothing if not an extremely fast learner, and it had turned out that she'd known the basics already.

"Hello, Doc," she said brightly. "My little vacation is over and I wanna get back to work. What say we get outta here?"

His eyes lit up. "Shego?"

Her chin tilted up in challenge. "Expecting anybody else? Your darling Bebes, perhaps?"

His expression went dark. "No." He mumbled, getting up from the floor and dusting himself off. "No, not them."

She raised an eyebrow, but shrugged. "Let's go."

"Right." He nodded firmly and scrambled out of the broken cell and into the hover car. There was no time for idle chit chat.

When they'd put some miles between themselves and the resulting spotlights, sirens, barking dogs and yelling guards, Drakken turned his attention to his sidekick, absentmindedly studying her profile.

It wasn't the first time she'd broken him out of jail— they'd been sent to jail at least twice since that bothersome cheerleader had arrived on the scene— but it was the first time she'd come to break him out just for his sake, and not because she was also incarcerated and needed to get out as well, which was why he'd been a little surprised at seeing her.

"Thank you, Shego," He said, nodding. "Good job."

Shego glanced at him, one eyebrow cocked. "Talk is cheap, Dr. D. I expect more than a 'thank you' for helping you out at my own personal risk like this."

He frowned, about to lecture her, but reconsidered, sighing. It would only be ineffectual…and besides, she sort of had a point. "Oh, and what does Her Highness want? I hope it's not a raise, because—"

"I want my own hover car." She replied as she calmly maneuvered them past their Caribbean lair's neighboring islands.

Drakken opened his mouth to speak, but she beat him to it.

"A _stylish_ one, not this flying _toaster_. I want it black, green and sleek." She told him matter-of-factly.

"What's wrong with—" He began, but stopped when he saw the look she sent him. "Fine. Fine, I'll…what do the teens call it? I'll 'pimp your ride', as it were," He said with disdain, making inverted commas with his fingers.

"Good." She said almost cheerfully, a smile tugging at one side of her mouth. "Hey, Sport," she grinned, nudging him with her elbow, "it's great to be back. Vacation was getting kinda boring at the end there."

_Yes, without anybody to bother, right?_ Drakken rolled his eyes.

Oh well…at least she hadn't asked for a raise.

* * *

"So…not that I'm dying to be ranted at, but…what happened with your little vendetta, Dr. D?" Shego asked in a casual tone as she strolled into the lab, idly peeling off her gloves as she went.

"Nnnnghhh! Don't even ask!" Drakken moaned as he followed her, but she could still tell he was itching to vent about it.

She sighed, dropping into the couch and dropping her gloves on the coffee table. "What happened? Had all of your so-called 'posse' turned into super heroes or something?"

"KIM! POSSIBLE!" Drakken roared, actually shaking his fist. Shego sighed again. "Kim Possible happened! She's actually the daughter of a guy I went to college with! Can you _believe_ it?"

Shego sent him a puzzled look. "Huh? Who?"

"James T. Possible!" Drakken announced, like it was some ancient, eldritch curse. Pausing, he felt strangely disappointed when there was no gasp from Shego and no dramatic crash of thunder and lightning when he mentioned the dreadful name.

"Well, uh…the last name should've probably been a clue." Shego commented dryly.

"Hey! How was I supposed to know?" Drakken demanded.

"It's not exactly a common name." She pointed out.

He gaped at her, looking betrayed. "Not _you_, too!"

Shego decided it was time to get on with the story before she lost her patience. "So, what happened?"

Drakken winced. "Um…"

"Well…?"

"Nnnggh."

Shego sighed and leaned back. "Look, Doc, this is a golden opportunity for you here." She informed him with a hint of a wry smile on her lips. "For once, I'm actually getting interested in what you have to say…so spill!"

Drakken's eyes narrowed and his lips pursed so much at her comment that he dimly resembled a highly offended old witch from some cartoon. "Very funny, Shego! Look, just forget it, you don't want to know—"

Shego sat up again, subjecting him to a pouty glare. "Hey, after I busted you out of prison, the least you can do is tell me how you ended up there in the first place!"

Drakken scowled. "I thought I was already designing a new hover car for you!"

"Aww, come on…!" Shego cajoled impatiently.

Groaning, he finally gave in. "Gah! They _turned_ on me, okay? The Bebes turned on me!"

"Well…I'd hate to say I told you so, but—" She paused, looking theatrically pensive. "Oooh, you know what? Actually, I'd _love_ to!" She whooped, grinning shamelessly. "_I told you so_, Dr. D! But would you listen? Of _course_ not, you just—"

"Oh, _nice_!" Drakken snapped. "Just rub it in, will you?"

She'd been right— his sidekick had been right, and it was chafing his evil scientist ego something fierce.

Shego had been _right_. Well, not really back then…because back then, there had been no real unstable factors; what had happened had happened not because the robots had 'rebelled', but because he'd neglected to add Shego to their Friendly Files…but in the end, they'd become exactly what Shego had feared they would become because he'd been— he refused to even _think_ the words 'arrogant' or 'stupid'— reckless enough to add that 'pinch of human emotion'.

That had been his biggest mistake.

The worst thing about it was, that all the while when he'd been developing their ability to feel, there had been some kind of niggling doubt in the back of his mind…and it wasn't until after that terrible moment when his own creations had turned against him that he'd realized that he'd unconsciously been remembering the sight of Shego, wide-eyed, choking and struggling, her legs kicking in the air as she was being held up from the floor by her neck by Bebe-1.

That had just been a machine carrying out the directives that had been programmed into its system, however. That hadn't been a machine making a…a human-like _decision_ to rebel.

The next time he created drones for himself— clones, androids, whatever— he'd be more careful. Plan it better. Make them more stable. Less unpredictable; that was, not unpredictable to their master...just his enemies.

He'd just have to find the perfect balance between obedience and artificial intelligence with free will and the power to adapt, and the Bebes had clearly been a dead end. He was tired of trying to improve on them; it was time to try something different.

"Why'd they turn on you, anyway?" Shego went on, interrupting his thoughts. "Short circuit?" She suggested flippantly.

"They decided they were too perfect to be ruled by someone as imperfect as me." His tone was bitter. "The nerve of them!"

"Yeesh, I didn't know robots could _be_ arrogant." Shego grimaced. "Sounds like you made those metal Barbies a little too human."

"You don't say." He retorted sourly.

"So…what?" She went on, waving a hand to make him elaborate. "Did they just take off then or what? Elope with the microwave?"

Drakken scowled at her jokes before cringing as he recalled what had happened. "Er…no…they still tried to kill Kim Possible since they saw her as a threat."

"And?" She prompted.

"And, uh…she sort of…blew them up." He admitted reluctantly.

Her eyes wide, she rose from the couch. "Sh— what? She _destroyed_ them? The prissy little _cheerleader_ did _that_ to a bunch of new and improved _killer robots_?"

Even though Drakken had kept the robots from her while he'd been redesigning and rebuilding them, like he'd promised he would, she hadn't been able to resist when he'd finally finished them and had asked her if she wanted a demonstration. She hadn't particularly _wanted_ to see the robots again, but she felt like she would have to know what their new abilities were just in case she ever found herself facing them in an out of control situation once more.

And they had certainly been…different. Stronger. More independent. Faster. _Really_ faster. When they moved at top speed, in fact…she hadn't even been able to _see_ them. More than ever, the robots had brought a chill to her spine and had shoved her helplessly into The Uncanny Valley with the ease of a dump truck tipping garbage into a hole.

And if Kim Possible had defeated _them_, how could she hope to ever defeat the smug little brat again?

"Don't remind me." Drakken grunted. "Beaten by a cheerleader in front of my old posse-- it was embarrassing!"

"Well— well, she had to have had some _help_, right?" She demanded, staring at him with incredulity. "I mean, she didn't just— just _kung fu_ them to bits, right?"

Drakken frowned; what was she getting so upset for? "Uh, no…um, I mean, her father— I _still_ can't believe they're related— and her little computer boy used her, uh, beeper phone thingamabob to create a sonic disturbance. That really slowed the Bebes down. They were only working at half of their full capacity, I think. I mean, they weren't even _blurring_ anymore—"

Shego cleared her throat loudly. "Good! That's…er, that's good. So she hasn't suddenly turned into Super Girl over night."

Drakken didn't see what there was to be relieved about. "Still…she destroyed my robots!"

_Yeah…she did._ Shego thought, frowning. "Doc…" She frowned even harder when a new thought occurred to her, focusing a stern, appraising stare on him. "Don't _tell _me you're still gonna build _new_ ones?"

Drakken shook his head, huffing. "What's the use? I've had enough of them!"

"Great," Shego muttered under her breath, "or I might've had to _hurt _you."

Drakken glared suspiciously at her, but let it go.

Exhaling slowly, Shego ran a hand through her hair and shrugged her shoulders, as if trying to shrug off the moment and move on. "Well, anyway…chin up, Doc!" She began briskly. "You're out of jail, with new chances to do evil! And hey, _here's_ a bonus— since the guy you want revenge over is the father of your arch foe, getting rid of her _would_ kinda kill two birds with one stone, right? Revenge _and_ pest control!"

Surprised, Drakken considered her and her words for a moment before finally nodding. "You know, Shego, you've turned out to be a pretty good sidekick!" He declared, grinning. "Why, you're worth a…a dozen of those stupid Bebes!"

Shego shot him a sour look. "Gee, Doc, is a human being worth more than a robot? Really?"

Drakken ignored the comment and went on smoothly. "Maybe having super-powered humans as henchpersons is the way to go instead of robots. I mean, _one_ flaw in their systems and you never know what might happen…!"

Shego shook her head. "Hah, yeah, good to see you've learned your lesson _there_ at least…!"

"It's really too bad there aren't more of you, Shego." Drakken mused, rubbing his chin.

"Well, what can I say?" Shego smirked, tossing her hair. "I'm one of a kind, Doc."

"Hmmm…but maybe you don't have to be…" Drakken nodded vaguely as he let his thoughts wander; he could practically feel the gears shifting in his brain as an ingenious new idea began to take shape.

Shego gawked at him for a second; then the shocked expression turned into a scowl. "Oh, no— no way!"

"What?" Drakken looked up, baffled as his train of thought was derailed.

"I _know _that look in your eye!" Shego accused, pointing an angry finger at his face. "It means 'wacked-out mad scientist plot number gazillion and one forming even as we speak'!"

"Who? Me?" He asked, voice becoming sweet and eyes big and innocent; he knew he probably wouldn't even fool her for a second, but he had to try. If he could get her to agree to this one, they would win for certain!

She stomped her foot with an air of finality. "There is _no way_ I'm letting you _clone_ me!"

_Oh, doodles__. Caught._ He groaned; there was just no getting anything past this woman. "How did you know?"

"Because I _know_ how your mind works, weirdo!" Shego barked, stalking over to the couch again and plopping down into it.

Drakken could tell that as far as she was concerned, the conversation was over— too bad for her that he never gave up that easily!

"Come _on_, Shego!" Drakken whined, leaning over the arm rest and tugging on her wrist pleadingly. "That Possible girl is really getting to be a pain! We could use all the help we can get at this point!"

"I said NO!" Shego huffed. "And I can take care of the cheerleader myself! Just give me another chance and you'll see!" Shego wasn't so sure; the fact that Possible had managed to defeat the new and improved Bebes had been a blow to her ego…but she wasn't about to admit that. Possible wasn't better than her. She was just…lucky. She had techno savvy friends and she was lucky.

"But all I need is a tiiiny liiiitle strand of hair…or maybe an eyelash or a skin flake…?" Drakken wheedled, edging closer to her.

Shego's nose wrinkled as she practically leapt up from the couch and away from him. "Eww! Keep your mitts off of my— my skin flakes!"

"But— but it's so _easy_!" Drakken objected, trying to sound reasonable. "I already have a cloning machine in my lab! It'll only take about five minutes!"

"I don't care if it takes five _seconds_!" Shego shot back. "You are _not_ gonna clone me!"

"But _why_?" His tone was petulant.

Shego was sure she was going to develop a facial tic around this guy; was there no limit to his madness? "Doy!" She blurted, waving her hands for emphasis. "Because having a clone of myself around would be even creepier than those robots? _Talk_ about your frickin' Uncanny Valley!"

_He _was the big sci-fi geek, right? Surely _he_ of all people would have to know that cloning always went wrong! Either the clone emerged hideously disfigured or evil or… in her case, _eviler _than its DNA source. Even _she_— who actually _had_ a life— knew _that_! Besides, even _without_ anything "going wrong", the simple fact of meeting an exact copy of yourself was unsettling enough in itself.

When he only blinked perplexedly at her, she threw her hands up, exasperated, and started heading for her room. "Look, just…figure it _out_, Genius! Nobody wants to be cloned!"

He pouted. "You'll change your mind once you see how brilliant it is…"

She whirled around, grabbing the lapels of his prison uniform. "That's it! I'm calling my lawyer! You and me are gonna have a little talk about my contract!"

Yelping, Drakken was dragged to his study by his arm. "Hey! Let me _at least_ change out of my prison clothes!"

Three hours and a lot of hard bargaining later, Shego emerged from the study looking self-content, a sulky Drakken and a smug lawyer trailing after her.

"Who ever heard of a 'No Cloning' clause, anyway…?" Drakken muttered as he walked towards his room to change.

If her clones were going to be even half as sassy as Shego herself, he'd have to think twice before he ever resorted to cloning her in any case.

**The End (really this time).**

* * *

**Author's note:** Sorry for the lateness of this epilogue.

A big thank you goes out to my beta,** Charlotte C**, who was kind enough to beta read this so I'd be able to publish it before going on vacation.

And I'd like to wish my friend **Marvolo Cassius** a happy birthday in advance since I won't be here for his birthday on the 29th. Have a good one, ass face, and thanks for the help on that other fic of mine.

In the episode _A Very Possible Christmas_, Shego was shown with her very own black and green hover car. I'm guessing she uses it for weekends and when on solo missions or something.

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End file.
